Tread Lightly
by imgoingtocallyoufern
Summary: "One way or another. Just… wait for me, okay?" [Tag to 5x10, The Frozen Lake.]


"Kensi!" Deeks hollers, despite knowing that she can't hear him. He's in his car, driving like a madman towards the airstrip.

Sure, he wasn't supposed to follow Granger out of the parking lot._ Maybe _he's breaking more than just one law by chasing a set of federal agents that are going on a classified mission.

But this is _Kensi, _so Deeks is not just gonna let her go without saying how he's feeling.

His car comes to a sliding stop. Her figure is approaching the roaring plane beside Granger, a bag slung over one shoulder.

"Kensi!" He yells again, hopping out of the car.

She spins around at the sound of her name, both eyes wide. "Deeks?"

Kensi can hardly believe it, but he's there_. _Sprinting towards her.

_He came. _

"Mr. Deeks, we're on a very tight schedule-"

"Just five minutes," he mutters, completely breathless. "Five minutes. That's all I need."

"Miss Blye…"

Granger turns his head towards her, but trails off upon seeing her expression. She's dazed, confused, but mainly just teary eyed.

And dammit- he can't be responsible for having an emotionally compromised agent on his hands.

"I want wheels up in five. You've got three minutes, Detective."

He furiously nods, giving Granger half a smile. Needless to say, the gesture is_ not_reciprocated.

Once Kensi knows he's out of earshot, she opens her mouth to speak, but can't find the right words.

"I… um…"

"I had to come, Kens." Deeks' voice is shaking, his eyes darting around her face. "I just couldn't let you go."

She swallows hard. "You have to."

"I know. But I needed… _something_. A goodbye, at the very least."

"I don't wanna, um, say goodbye, Deeks…" Kensi's eyes drop to her feet, a lump forming in her throat. "Because that means it's _real."_

"It is real."

"I really wish that wasn't the case."

"So do I."

"But I have to do this," she mutters, trying to stand tall. "You know that."

He cocks his head to one side, shoving both hands in his pockets. "I don't wanna lose you."

"Then…" Kensi is trying so hard not to cry, but she can't keep the tears at bay. "Wait for me?"

In Deeks' mind, it's a ridiculous request. He's not going _anywhere. _

"How is that even a question? I'm not moving on, if that's what you're thinking."

"But- do you promise?"

Deeks' expression softens, his heart crumbling, bit by bit.

"I promise."

"Okay."

Their time is running out. She just wants to _kiss him, _but knows that it's not an attainable request.

"I think I have to-"

"Hold on," he says, grabbing at her shoulder. "One more thing."

Deeks reaches into the pocket of his trousers, pulling out something quite familiar to Kensi.

"You should take this with you."

She can't force a single broken whisper to escape her lips, because Kensi knows that with even _one word_ a flurry of tears will come too.

"I felt like I needed to give it to you, because, um…" Deeks' voice cracks, but he clears his throat and presses on regardless. "Sometimes a knife is just a knife."

Kensi shakes her head slowly, more tears clouding her already fuzzy vision.

"And sometimes it's _not."_

Deeks' eyes widen, his breathing becoming staggered as he stares down at the knife in his hands.

"So-"

"Hold onto it," she whispers, placing one hand over his. "Keep it safe for me."

With a bobbing adams apple and shaking fingers, Deeks slowly lifts his eyes to meet hers.

"But it was your fathers-"

"It's okay."

She takes a step towards him, her eyes catching on Granger in the distance. As he sees her tearfulness and pleading gaze, the assistant director holds up one finger, letting Kensi know exactly how much time they have left. He's watching them both with a stone cold gaze, and Kensi desperately wishes he would disappear, at least for a moment.

_But she knows he won't._

"I'll keep it," Deeks says, his stance tall and strong but his eyes brimming over with tears. "But I don't know when you're coming back."

She slowly shakes her head. "Neither do I."

"Hetty said it was indefinite-"

"I don't care."

Kensi knows how defiant the statement sounds, but that's just how she's feeling._Defiant._

"I'm coming back."

"You don't know that-"

"Deeks." Kensi tries to calm herself, taking a deep breath. "One way or another. Just… wait for me, okay?"

He nods, briefly closing both eyes. "Okay."

Kensi lifts her hands off of Deeks' as she begins to back away. She ponders how it's possible to start missing someone so quickly, when they aren't even gone from sight yet.

Probably because she left a piece of herself with him.

"Don't worry Marty," Kensi says, a slight smile tugging at her features.

"I'll be back."


End file.
